My father used to say, “too much love is not a good thing”. In other words, too much giving spoils the one you love and can make the relationship sour.
When I was at university, I had a part time job at Hertz Rent a car which allowed me to save a little towards a car. My father came to the party offering to go halves on a car as long as he approved of it. The first car that took my fancy was a Triumph Spitfire, a small 2-seater English sports car. It was a rust bucket and generated an incredible smoke screen when you put your foot down. It was knackered but still had charm for me, but not for dad.
Eventually we found a very modest 1968 Austin Mini for R800. He gave me his R400 and I found the balance. On receiving the car, I took him for a drive after which, at the end he said, “the car is all yours, bills and all! If you drive her hard you will get service bills that you won’t want to know. She is 13 years old, so you will have to drive her with care, and she will give you good service.”
It was good advice and that car gave me great service and lessons in life!
Today we live in an age where parents are quite wealthy and children struggle to find good jobs that pay a meaningful salary for their perceived status in life.
Over the years we have come across situations where children try to exploit their parents love, sometimes inadvertently so. This obviously places parents in a very tricky situation and their approach to this conundrum, determines how things turn out in the future.
In some situations, the client will approach us with the idea of giving/lending to their children without yet making any promises to them. In these situations, we can give meaningful advice and all ends well.
Here’s 2 examples:
Similar to when I bought my first car, one client decided to give his son and wife, a helping hand to buy a flat. He offered to pay the deposit on a flat that they could finance. The only caveat was that he had to approve of the flat, which I understand was on the third choice! In the end I am sure they were grateful for the advice and the flat they bought was by far the best of three!
Not only did the children appreciate the help and advice they received, but they also appreciated the asset they had acquired.